


Back Then I Was...

by 50s_housewife_with_a_dark_secret



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Amnesia, F/F, Fantastic, Fantasy, Magic, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 7,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26586067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/50s_housewife_with_a_dark_secret/pseuds/50s_housewife_with_a_dark_secret
Summary: Pre-show-Adora wakes up in the body of Post-Show-Adora
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 49
Kudos: 317





	1. Chapter 1

Adora's first thought when she woke up was " _Where am I?"_ This wasn't the barracks. She must have been captured somehow. Someone was holding her. Adora threw an elbow. "Ugh." The person said, barely moving. Adora struggled out of their grip and turned to face-

Catra. It was just Catra. She looked different though. Her hair had been cut. Her face was more angular. How much time had passed? 

"Catra" Adora hissed under her breath, and shook Catra's shoulder. "Catra, wake up!" 

Catra grunted and her eyes flicked just barely open. "Wha's wrong?" 

"We've been captured!" 

Catra woke all the way up. "What?!" 

"Look" Adora gestured to their surroundings, and really took them in for the first time. What?! This was not where she would have expected to be taken if captured. This had to be some sort of trap, or an attempt to brainwash them. It was...it was like nothing she'd ever seen before. Maybe it was supposed to scare her, seeing that they had enough resources to waste on making their prison this comfortable. A brag about the luxury that they lived in while the honorable people of the Horde and the commoners suffered. 

A tall mirror sat on one wall. Adora would assume that it was a two way mirror until proven otherwise. A tub of something was bubbling beside that. 

Devices that she didn't recognize hung from the walls. They would have been sort of pretty if this wasn't so completely terrifying. 

A rope hung from the ceiling and Adora tried not to think about what it was there for. She couldn't help it. The possibilities were endless and horrific. 

A little corner of the room jutted out with a pitcher. Probably drugged. 

In one place, the wall seemed to be missing entirely, and instead, there was a trickling stream of water falling from overhead into a pond. 

They were not in the fright zone. That much seemed clear. 

"What are you talking about?" Catra said, like Adora was the thing that was weird here. 

"Where are we!" 

"oookay." Catra said. "I'm gonna get help." She reached out and grabbed a com-pad. "Hey, Bow? Sparkles? You there? Adora's acting crazy." 

Adora stared in shock as a woman materialized out of nowhere into the room. "Who are you?!"

The woman looked like she had been slapped. "Adora? It's Glimmer. Your friend, remember?" 

"What? I don't know you!" 

"Adora?" Catra laughed nervously. "This isn't funny anymore." 

"This isn't a joke! Catra, where are we? Who is that?!" She gestured to the sparkling woman. 

"Okay, okay, what's the last thing you actually remember?" Catra asked with uncharacteristic calmness.

"Going to bed. We- Oh, no! We're going to miss evaluation!" It wasn't exactly the most relevant thing to be worried about, Adora realized as soon as she said it, but-

Catra laughed. "Of course that's what you're worried about." She wheezed. "Okay, okay, it's not funny...it's a little funny." 

"Catra, what is happening?!" 

"Oooh boy." Catra's face when serious again. "Where to start with that?" 

"We're in Brightmoon." said the sparkling woman. "You're safe." 

Adora felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. 

"What?" 

"Yeah, Sparkles, I'm not sure we should lead with that-" Catra started. 

"Are you a Princess?" Adora demanded, feeling sick. She was pretty sure she could guess the answer to that. 

"Well, yes, but to be fair, so are you. You really don't remember?" 

Adora found a fighting stance. "I would _never_ betray the Horde like that." 

The Princess sighed. 

"Adora," Catra stepped between Adora and the Princess, "I need you to _stay calm_...There is no Horde anymore, okay?"

The world seemed to separate itself. Adora was floating somewhere outside of her own body. The Horde couldn't be gone. They couldn't have lost. 

"Hello? Etheria to Adora? Come in?" Catra waved her hand in front of Adora's face. 

Adora searched Catra's eyes. There had to be some plan here. Some trick. Catra wouldn't have just given up like this. Catra just stared back. If there was a plan, Adora couldn't see it. 

She backed against the wall. " _No_." 

"Adora-" The Princess reached for her and Adora kicked out, catching the Princess in the chest. The Princess fell back with a grunt. 

"Give her some space!" Catra said. 

"I'm not going to just _leave her_ like this!" 

Adora forced herself to stay on her feet. She tried not to shake. "The Horde may have lost, but I'm not giving up. I'm not going to just sit by and watch tyrants take over!" 

She rushed at the Princess, who evaporated in a cloud of glitter. 

Catra grabbed Adora from behind. "Calm down, Crazy." 

Adora squirmed away and turned to face Catra. "She's a Princess!" 

Catra sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Adora, can you just like, not be an idiot for once?" 

The Princess rematerialized across the room and Adora ran at her.

"Wait!" She pleaded. Adora landed a punch to the Princess's eye. 

"Glimmer, just...give us some space. Let me talk to her." 

Glimmer, (apparently) took a shaky breath and disappeared. 

"Catra, what's going on!"

Adora glanced over to the mirror and dropped her voice to a whisper. "What are you doing? This isn't you!" 

"Adora, listen to me. The Horde lied to us. They lied to you." 

"They? Catra?" Adora's voice fell "What are you talking about? These are princesses we're talking about. Who knows what that one's done? She probably doesn't even know how to control her powers!" 

"Think through this, Adora. She seemed pretty in-control when you were attacking her, didn't she?" 

"Well..." Adora trailed off, uncertain. 

Catra laughed. 

"What's so funny?" 

"It's just. I sound like you or something. I can't even tell you how weird this is, being the one trying to convince you to give up on the Horde." 

"So you admit it? You've given up?"

"Wha-No. I just..." Catra growled. "I don't know how to explain this in a way that you'll understand." 

"Just tell me what happened."

"You saved me." Catra sounded sad. 

"You wanna be a little more specific?" Adora made herself smile. She sat on the bed, the one almost-normal part of the room, and patted the seat next to her. 

Catra sat down. "The Horde was never good for Etheria, Adora." 

"How can you say that? We were going to make things better! Put everything in order!" 

"Adora...please, please trust me." Catra held both of Adora's hands, their eyes met. 

"I...This doesn't make any sense." 

Catra grabbed the com-pad. "Here. See for yourself. Let me find some footage." 

" _Catra_. The Horde _rescued_ us. They're our _family_...How can you talk like this?"

"Okay. I'm going to get Entrapta so she can figure out how to work this thing. Just...stay here and don't hurt anybody, okay?" 

Catra walked to the door, and stood there, turning back towards Adora. Adora said nothing.

"Adora?" Catra asked. 

"Okay." said Adora, not sure if she was lying. It felt wrong. It felt like a lie, but the second she said it, she wanted it to be true. 


	2. Chapter 2

Adora sat on the bed, trying to catch her breath. How long had she been here? At _BrightMoon_. How had she gotten here? Nothing made sense. And what sort of mind games were they trying to play, claiming that _Adora_ was a princess. She'd know if she was a Princess. And of course she would never be one at all, in the first place. 

Whatever was happening, Catra seemed to know, or was at least good at pretending. Okay. Adora could trust Catra. She'd wait here. 

The door swung open. Adora tensed, ready to fight or run. 

It was a guy in a crop-top, who appeared to be on the verge of tears, holding a basket of some weird lumpy looking things. 

"I came as soon as I could!" Crop-Top guy said. "Are you okay? Do you need a hug? I brought muffins!"

"Muffins?" Adora echoed. 

"Yeah y'know, wait...you don't remember muffins!?" Crop-Top guy gasped in horror. 

"Uh..." 

"Here," Crop-Top pulled out a chair at the little table in the corner. "Try one." 

"What..." 

"They're food, see?" He picked one up and opened his mouth wide, shoving an entire 'muffin' into his mouth. 

Adora picked a muffin at random and pulled it apart. They didn't look like food. "You first. Eat half of this." Adora dropped crumbling pieces of muffin into Crop-Top's hand. 

"Sure." Crop-Top shrugged and scarfed the crumbling muffin down. 

Adora watched him swallow and tentatively took a bite of her half. 

Her eyes went wide and she took another huge bite. In minutes she had finished the entire basket. "These are amazing!" 

"I know, right!" Crop-Top poured himself some of the water from the pitcher and Adora grabbed the cup and finished it before he could drink. 

"Hey!" He said.

She handed him back the cup.

"So..." she said, "You wanna explain what's going on here?" 

"Oh man, where to start." Crop-Top said. 

"Who are you?" Adora tried. 

"I'm Bow. You, me, Glimmer and Catra are best friends." 

Adora snorted. "Right. Like I would ever be friends with a Princess." 

"Technically she's a Queen." said Bow.

"I thought Angella was the Queen?"

Bow looked sad. "You really don't remember, do you?" 

"That's what I've been saying!" Adora snapped. 

Before Bow could answer, something swooped in through the missing-wall, splashing water across the room. 

"Oh, sorry about that." said the...thing. It was beautiful. Shining white with long waving hair in more colors than Adora had ever seen. Brilliant wings sprouted from its back. 

"What. Is. That." 

"Who. Not what." The thing corrected. "And I'm Swift Wind. Your steed? I figured if anything could jog your memory it'd be our sacred bond!" 

Adora's mouth fell open. 

"Great to meet you, again. Well, I'm not meeting you, more like you're meeting me...Great to meet me!" Declared Swift Wind. He closed his eyes and scrunched up his long face in focus. 

"Work with me here, Adora. Try to remember." 

"Uhh...how?" 

"Just...Try." 

She looked back at Bow. Bow shrugged. "It's worth a shot." 

Adora didn't particularly want to close her eyes around Bow, but she was already a prisoner anyway...

_People screaming...the smell of smoke...electricity running through her body...A phrase: for the honor of Grayskull...The horde setting fire to a town of civilians...For the honor of Grayskull...Adora, as a Princess, fighting the horde...The horde retreating, screaming...Catra staring in horror, looking so betrayed..._

Adora jolted out of the memories, no not memories. This was a trick. "You're lying! That isn't me! They wouldn't-"

She stumbled back and scrambled for the door. 

"Adora, wait!" Bow yelled, but she was already running down the hallway. She had to find Catra and get out of here. 


	3. Chapter 3

Adora raced down the hallways, not looking back. A guard noticed her and looked surprised but Adora shoved her out of the way before she could say anything. 

"Catra!" She called out. "Catra!" 

After a while, the hallways started to blend together. 

What turns had she taken? How had she gotten here? Adora slumped against an archway, identical to every other archway. She tucked her knees against her chest, folding herself up so that the archway hid her from either side. 

* * *

Eventually, she heard footsteps approaching down the curved corner. A darkskinned woman with short, white hair glanced back and forth before she seemed to realize that Adora was there. "Ha! I found her first!" The woman called over her shoulder. 

Adora shot up to her feet but before she could move, some sort of glowing net had closed down around her. It had come out of nowhere. The woman was holding her hands out, controlling the net somehow. 

She must have been a princess. It shouldn't have been a surprise. This was BrightMoon, and the woman looked like a princess. 

"Let me go!" 

"You'll thank me later." said the woman. 


	4. Chapter 4

"Yeah, right!" Adora kicked against the net. 

"You'll just have to trust us for now." said the woman. 

Adora grunted and punched through the netting at the woman's leg. "Let me go!" She said, knowing that it wouldn't work.

"I can't!" snapped the woman. "You're not in your right mind." 

Adora spluttered. 

They passed a dark haired man in the hallway. "Adora! Netossa, is this really necessary?" 

Something about the man's sympathy ate at Adora. He was familiar. This whole place was starting to feel familiar. Maybe they were right...No! No she couldn't let herself be lured in by the enemy. 

"Whatever." said Netossa. "I'm just bringing her to the others so they can show her the footage." 

"Let her walk on her own." Insisted the man. 

Netossa reluctantly let Adora down and unfolded the net, instead holding onto Adora's upper arm. Micah took up Adora's other arm. 

She turned to him. "Thanks." 

"Any time, Adora." The man said with a weary smile. He looked like the first Princess, from earlier. 

"Are you Glimmer's dad?" Adora wasn't sure how she guessed it. 

"I am." said the man. He held out his free hand to shake hers and to Adora's own suprise, she took it. "I'm Micah. You and I are good friends. I owe you a lot." 

"Funny way of showing it." Adora said, but it didn't come out very venomous. 

* * *

Adora sat in the meeting room, staring blankly at the footage they showed her. That...this couldn't be real. But it was right in front of her. That was her face. That was...her. As a Princess. Adora was a Princess. And the Horde...the Horde was exactly what the Princesses claimed it was. Adora watched, horrified, as clip after clip played. It didn't make sense. None of it made sense. But it was right there. And she couldn't run from it anymore. 


	5. Chapter 5

"That all...really happened?" Adora looked to Catra. 

"Yeah." Catra said. "You...really don't remember?" 

"No." Adora said, looking back to the screen. 

"So...you're on our side now?" Glimmer asked. 

"But I thought-" Adora shook her head and lowered it into her hands. 

"Oh, come on!" Glimmer shouted. 

"Lets just...give her some time." Bow suggested. "I'm sure the rest will come back to her." 

"We need to get through to her! We can't just wait around and hope for the best!" Glimmer argued. 

Everyone else was yelling over one another and Bow just took Adora's hand and lead her back to her room. Adora followed numbly. She felt like she was underwater, trying to kick her way to the surface, but she'd lost track of which direction that was. She didn't even know what to call these people. Friends? Enemies? And Adora? A princess. That had to be some mistake. Or maybe before she lost her memories she was a Princess but now...not now. She wasn't a Princess. Adora wasn't a Princess. She'd spent years fighting Princesses. And she had been wrong. She couldn't be one of them. The best she could hope is that they didn't hate her too much. Which they didn't. Because they thought she was one of them somehow. Which she wasn't. She couldn't be. 

She needed to think this through. She needed to be anywhere else. She grabbed the pitcher from the table and slammed it against the mirror. The mirror cracked. She hit it again. The mirror shattered. There was nothing but wall behind it. It was just a mirror. Adora examined the wall. Solid. Unbroken.

Adora wasn't sure how much time had passed when Catra came back in. 

"So..." Catra said. "You. Don't remember much."

"I don't remember anything." Adora said earnestly. 

"Don't do this again." Catra's voice broke a little. "You can't just leave me again." Her voice wavered, solidifying into something more stubborn. "I won't let you!"

For no reason Adora could name, she threw her arms around Catra. "What's happening to me?" 

Catra froze for a second, then lowered her raised arms to rest around Adora's shoulders. She didn't answer.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, Adora lay in bed next to Catra. There was a knock on the door.

Adora sat up and Catra groaned. "What?" 

"Someone's at the door." Adora said, crossing the room. She waited for Catra to pull herself together: wake up, stand at attention, something. Catra just lay there. Like she didn't even care anymore. What had happened, in the time Adora had lost? Catra had always been flippant, reckless even, but not to this self-destructive extreme. "Get up!" Adora hissed under her breath. 

"It's fine. It's probably just Casta with another sweater." 

Adora wasn't sure what that meant so she cracked open the door. 

It was Bow. "Hey! I was thinking the Best Friend Squad could get breakfast together! We could make it a picnic thing!" 

"It. Is. Five. Hundred. Hours." Catra punctuated this statement by throwing a pillow at Bow. 

"Aw, c'mon grumpy-pants! It'll be good for us to spend some time together! Maybe we can jog Adora's memory!" 

Catra muttered something under her breath but got up. "Fine. Give us a chance to actually get ready and we'll meet you by the lake." 

"Will there be more muffins?" Adora blurted out. 

"Sure!" 

Bow left, whistling something.

Catra yelled her frustration into a pillow. "Okay fine. Lets get ready."

"Where are the showers?" 

"Nowhere. They have something worse." Catra said.

"Worse?" 

"Yeah. See that tub over there? You just sit in that like soup until you can't take it anymore." 

"Huh...alright." Adora shrugged and pulled off her clothes. She climbed into the tub cautiously. It was...not terrible. The water was warm and strangely pleasant. She looked up to Catra expectantly. Catra stepped towards the tub but stopped. "This is actually...more of a one person thing. Around here."

"We're not _from_ around here!"

"Oh man, remind me to tell you about that, actually. There's a story there with you, but-"

Adora splashed some of the water over the edge at Catra. "Are you getting in or not?" 

"I..." Catra hesitated. "It's a really small tub. I'll just...leave you alone. For now." 


	7. Chapter 7

Adora ate quickly, at the picnic. The food here was soft and sweet. Bow lay back, eating slowly, head resting in Glimmer's lap. Catra would have seemed calm, if her tail weren't whipping back and forth around her. Glimmer was smiling but too bright, and her eyebrows drooped together. These were problems for later, Adora decided, as she finished her own plate. 

She turned to Catra and they're eyes met in silent challenge. Adora darted out a hand to grab at the food on Catra's plate and Catra smacked Adora's hand away. 

"Ha! Get your own!" 

"Aw, c'mon, you have so much!" Adora whined

"Yeah. Cause I'm actually eating. Not just swallowing it whole." 

They laughed and Adora turned to Bow "Are you gonna finish that?" She gestured to his plate. 

He shrugged. "You can have it."

Adora did a quick fist pump and shoved the contents of Bow's plate into her mouth. 

"Guess that means it's time for dessert!" Bow said. 

"Dessert?" Adora asked.

"It's this thing they have here!" Catra perked up. "It's awesome! You're gonna love it!"

Catra is right. The desert is good, it is, but two bites in Adora spits it out. Something is wrong. "Did we...did we have this in Theymore?" She asks. It's a ridiculous question. She doesn't know why she asks. Theymore was a military base. 

"Yeah! You remember?!" Glimmer asked, pushing Bow aside carelessly in her exitement. 

"No. I mean...It just...felt familiar? I don't understand. Was that where we lost? Was I a prisoner?" 

Glimmer's face went slack. "No. Sort of? I..." Her eyes were watering. 

"What? No. What did I say? Stop crying!" Adora reached out to rest her hands on Glimmer's shoulders but hesitated and backtracked. "Glimmer?" 

"Sorry." Glimmer said. "It's stupid. I just got my hopes up for a second there. It's not your fault." 

Bow put his arm around Glimmer. "Do you wanna go back inside for a bit?"

Glimmer shook him off. "No. I'm fine." 

No one was smiling anymore. 

"Why were we eating dessert in Theymore?" Adora whispered to Catra. 

"I wasn't there. They were probably buttering you up to leave the Horde" Catra frowned "Not that that's a bad thing." 

The answer raised a million more questions but all Adora could think to say was "Huh?" 

"So!" Bow interrupted "I got word from Mermista! Rebuilding is going great!"

Catra curled her tail around herself and looked away.

"Uh...sorry." Bow said. 

"For what? You didn't do anything, stupid." Catra still wasn't looking at him. 

"Uh...right. Well...sorry anyway?"

"Whatever. Lets just finish eating." Catra said. "I need a nap." 

"Are you okay?" Adora asked. 

"I'm fine!" Catra snapped, "Will everyone just stop staring at me?" She went rigid.

"Catra," Adora said softly. 

Catra leaned towards Adora for a second before flinching away. Adora squinted back. Catra only folded up on herself more. Adora was reminded, somehow, of the vision, of Catra's face morphing from shock to hurt to anger, and then backing into the fog. Adora squeezed her eyes shut. She'd wake up soon. This was a nightmare. She'd wake up in her own bed, with Catra curled up at her feet and not avoiding her and everything would go back to normal.


	8. Chapter 8

"I don't get it." Adora said, picking at the grass around her. The sunset was beautiful but she couldn't appreciate it right now. "What is everyone's problem with me?" 

"I dunno. I think you're cool." SwiftWind said. "They probably just miss the old you."

"I _am_ the old me!" Adora lay back against SwiftWind's side. "It's this new person everyone seems to want." 

"What you mean She-Ra?"

"Is that the giant me with the sword?"

"Yeah and the hair. Don't forget the hair." SwiftWind added, as if that would help. 

"Thanks." Adora deadpanned.

If SwiftWind noticed her sarcasm, he didn't show it. "Anytime, old buddy." 

* * *

Adora was as deeply asleep as she had ever been. If you asked her later, she could not have said if she knew it was a dream. Only that she was flying across a black expanse of nothingness, on and on, until she floated up to She-Ra. She-Ra stared down at her. "You're afraid to consider that you might still be a Princess." 

"Adora? Yoo-hoo!" Adora shot up. SwiftWind was brushing her face with his wings. "Wake up! I need to move and you're lying on me." 

"Fine!" Adora rolled to her feet and shook herself off. 

She fell asleep quickly again, when she got to her room and-

She was trying to sneak into the castle, climbing on a rope up to a balcony. When she got to the top, Glimmer was glaring down at her and Adora fell and she was going to die-

* * *

"Uggh Adora! Shadow Weaver will try to hurt you again." said Glimmer, who was entirely purple now. 

"You don't know that!" 

"Yes I do! She's from the Horde. She's evil. Evil people don't change."

"Are you sure?" Catra, who was suddenly also there, said. 

* * *

"I know how this must sound," said Shadow-Weaver. Adora, Bow, and Glimmer surrounded her. "We on Etheria have no concept of a universe beyond our reach...And yet, the evidence stands before us." She raised a grey hand and pointed at Adora. 

* * *

She was surrounded by crystals "You said you've been watching me since I was an infant," Adora said to a glitching blob "so you must know what I really am...Where I came from...Answer me!" 

"No. This is your destiny. You do not choose. You were chosen." 

Adora turned away from the blob, which had reformed into a hologram of a woman. 

"Adora. Adora. Where are you going?

When she got outside, Adora was in a desert. Glimmer was saying something but she fell into quicksand before Adora could hear what it was. "Glimmer!" Adora dove in after her. 

She couldn't see. Couldn't breath. She felt around for Glimmer and then, miraculously, she found a hand, and then they were out, on the surface. "We just need a little rest." Adora said. "I'll figure out how to build us shelter-"

"Or we could go there?" Glimmer interrupted.

A pair of goggles appeared in Adora's hands and she looked. She felt stupid. They marched through a bar and Bow babbled at the other people. 

Eventually a tall, muscular woman with a sharp set of fangs approached.

"Kids? What are you doing? Asking these lowlifes for help? Don't you know: you can't trust anyone in the Crimson Waste."


	9. Chapter 9

Adora woke up and spent the rest of the morning trying to piece the dreams together. She had a feeling they might be memories but they felt disjointed, and she couldn't be sure. Once she was done getting ready for the day, Adora found herself lying back down in bed. She'd never done that before, but the day was moving too fast, and she was so tired, like she didn't sleep at all. 

* * *

_"You've been avoiding me."_ Melog accused gently. Catra had not slept in her own room for weeks, but she was here now, wrapped in a blanket and Melog wouldn't leave her alone.

"What? No I haven't!" 

_"Then we can spend the day together?"_

"I'm busy today."

_"Then when."_

"Just leave me alone!"

Somehow, Catra didn't expect Melog to actually slink away. She grabbed the nearest pillow and clawed it open. This wasn't worth crying about. She didn't owe Melog anything. And it wasn't like she could just expect Adora to hang out with some giant weird cat thing when she already barely trusted Catra as it was. There was too much going on. For once, Melog didn't seem to _understand_. Maybe she was stupid to think they would. Whatever. Melog was gone. Fine. Catra was great at being on her own. She'd had enough practice. 


	10. Chapter 10

"Swiftwind. I've made up my mind. I want you to help me get She-Ra back." 

"Aw yeah! Here we go!" 

* * *

They'd been at it for hours, out in the middle of nowhere. So far all she could remember was Theymore. "This isn't working!" 

"Whatever. We've got plenty of time." 

"You don't know that!" 

"Adora?" someone called. Adora turned to see a woman with some sort of flower crown. "I heard you weren't feeling well. I came by to see if I could do anything. I brought some healing tea."

"Oh. Healing Tea," Adora sounded out the word carefully, "Thank you."

"Come on. You look like you could use a break. Why don't we go back to the gardens and drink it there?" 

Adora turned back to SwiftWind in question. 

"Hey, don't let me stop you. I've got songs to write." 

"Thanks," Adora hugged his neck before running back towards this new person. 

"So...do I know you? Oh! You were in the video! You were the one with those magic vines!" 

"Yes. I'm Perfuma. I'm the Princess of Plumeria. We defeated the Horde together. The first time we met you saved my kingdom." 

"Oh. Thanks." 

Perfuma laughed. "For what? _You're_ the She-Ra." 

Adora's stomach twisted. "Yeah. She-Ra. Right." 


	11. Chapter 11

"They said at the screening that Entrapta wants to run some kind of tests on me to figure out what's wrong?" Adora said, sipping the "Healing Tea". Whatever it was, it tasted good. 

"She can be difficult." said Perfuma. 

"So you think I shouldn't do it?" 

"That's not what I said...Entrapta's smart she's just a little...unusual. I don't get along with her, but she's still one of us, and she and Scorpia are good friends so I see her around a lot." 

"I thought the Scorpion Kingdom was all the way where the horde used to be?" 

"Well yes, but we visit each-other a lot." Perfuma smiled. "We're uh...actually dating." 

"Oh. Congratulations." 

"How have things been with Catra?" 

"I feel like there's something she's not telling me." Adora rested her elbows on the table and proped up her head on her palms. "She's so secretive. I never know what's going on with her." 

"You should tell her how you feel." said Perfuma. "Maybe she'd be more open if you asked." 

"Maybe." Adora took a gulp of the tea. 


	12. Chapter 12

Adora didn't waste time thinking. She knew what she had to do. She had to find Catra and figure out what was wrong. She knocked on Catra's door. "Catra?" She called. "Are you in there?" There was no answer. "Catra, I really need to talk to you." She should give Catra space. She should walk away and wait. Adora rammed against the door with her shoulder. It opened easily. It wasn't locked. Adora's stomach lurched. Catra would _never_ just leave a door unlocked if she could help it. "Catra?" 

"Heyyyyyy! Adora!" Catra was hunched over a pile of vomit on the floor. Her nails scratch against an emptied glass bottle. There was a giant purple cat licking her hair. The giant purple cat turned to Adora and growled. 

"Catra?" Adora scanned over the scene again, trying to piece together where the giant purple cat fit into it. 

"Goway!" Catra threw a pillow at Adora's face. 

"What is going on with you?!" Adora demanded. 

The giant purple cat thing growled and clawed at the space between them. It was a clear enough warning. 

"Me?" Catra laughed. Too loud. "Wha's go on wi-with _me_?" The bottle fell out of her hand and rolled away across the floor. "NOthin. I'm greaat! I'm awesome!" She cackled. "Now get out." 

Adora pinched the bridge of her nose.

The cat-thing roared. This time, the claws barely missed her. 

"What is this thing? Did it drug you?" 

"Adora, Melog. Melog, 'Dora" Catra's arm swung back and forth. "There, Melog. Y'happy now?" 

Melog stalked back to Catra's side. 

Adora's heart raced. "Don't hurt her!"

"They're not gonna hurt me, yoou idi-idiot." Melog bumped their head against Catra's. "Itss _Melog_." 

Adora felt a stab of pain, like a cut through her skull from the inside. "I'm going to get some air." 

"eah, Classic Adora, righ? Leame. Like yyou always do." Catra laughed again, high and piercing. 


	13. Chapter 13

Adora lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. She passed the time trying to memorize the things she was supposed to know:

She-Ra - was supposed to be Adora, but with powers. Technically a Princess, somehow, despite having no kingdom. Was a major factor in defeating the Horde. Close friends and allies with Catra, Bow, and Glimmer. Maybe Princess was an honorary title, for being an especially good ally. This would make more sense. Bow, Glimmer, and Catra were friends with Perfuma.

Catra - Catra. Recently joined Brightmoon. Helped to defeat the Horde. Allies with She-Ra and Bow. Frenemies with Glimmer. She-Ra and Bow were actual friends with Glimmer. Glimmer and Bow were together. 

Entrapta - Ruler of Dryl, which was a small kingdom. Her tech was vital in defeating the Horde. Close friends with Scorpia, but not Perfuma, even though Scorpia and Perfuma were dating. Entrapta was also friends with Hordak but no one else liked Hordak.

Mermista - Ruler of Salineas. Helped defeat the Horde. Allies with She-Ra, Entrapta, Frosta, and Perfuma. Friends with Glimmer and Bow. Possibly dating Sea-Hawk but it was hard to tell. 

Scorpia - New ruler of the former Fright Zone, which was now called the Scorpion Kingdom. It was expected to eventually be bigger than even Bright Moon but hadn't been fully reinstated yet. She also fought against the Horde. Allies with Glimmer and Frosta. Friends with Entrapta, Catra, Rogelio, Kyle, Lonnie, and Sea Hawk. 

Glimmer - Ruler of Bright Moon, which was the biggest existing kingdom on Etheria. Fought against the Horde. Allies with Catra, Mermista, Perfuma, Spinerella, Netossa, Scorpia, Sea Hawk, and Casta. Friends with She-Ra, and Frosta. Dating Bow. 

Hordak - Ceded control of the Fright Zone to Scorpia. Friends with Entrapta and under her protection. Everyone else hated him. 

Bow - Fought against the Horde. Allies with Mermista. Friends with She-Ra, Catra, Perfuma, Kyle, Sea Hawk, and Entrapta. Dating Glimmer. 

After that, Adora lost track. There were too many people to sort out and no visuals. Her head hurt too much to make flashcards or charts. She started from the beginning and went again but the more times she repeated it the shorter and less certain the list seemed to get. She couldn't hold anything in her head because her head felt like it was split open. Anything she tried to remember fell out of the crack that seemed to be opening up in her skull. 

Adora pushed back tears. She was a soldier. She could do this. 


	14. Chapter 14

Adora got out of bed. She couldn't just lie here. Her head was still aching but she couldn't just wait for it to feel better. She had to _do_ something. She wound her way back to the room where Glimmer usually was, holding meetings around that table. Sure enough, Glimmer was talking animatedly to Perfuma, Netossa, Casta, Frosta, and Bow. 

"I've made up my mind." Adora announced. "I think we should try Entrapta." 

"Okay." Glimmer nodded. "We'll give her a call tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? Okay. Okay...Why not now?" 

"We have a lot to discuss. This is an important meeting." 

"Okay. Okay. My bad." Adora backed away. 

* * *

"Hi!" Entrapta waved through the screen, and shoved a tiny cupcake into her mouth with a strand of hair. 

"Entrapta." Adora cut right to the point "I've decided to take you up on your offer." 

Entrapta whooped. "I won't let you down!" 

"Just remember, Adora is a person first, not an experiment." Glimmer said. 

"Obviously! We're friends! That's why you trust me!" Entrapta punctuated this last statement with a giggle that Adora did not find particularly reassuring. 

"Uh-huh." Adora said, "Yeah. We're friends." 

"Okay! Bye!" The screen went dark. 

"Are you sure about this?" Glimmer turned to Adora. "She can be...a lot-" 

"I'm sure." Adora said. "I can't keep waiting around."

"Okay. It'll be good to really have you back." Glimmer squeezed her arms around Adora's shoulders. 

"I..." Adora realized that she had no idea what she wanted to say. 

"It's okay." Glimmer said, and squeezed tighter. 


	15. Chapter 15

"-Shadowweaver," Catra grumbled. 

Electricty arched up Adora's back, and she fell forward, twitching into the ground. 

"I got angry," Catra explained, "It's something I'm working on." 

* * *

Adora woke up, trying to catch the whisps of the dream, but it was gone. 

Catra was shaking her. "Adora? Wake up and answer me!" Catra's voice broke. 

"What?" Adora sat up. 

"You're leaving?! And you're letting that...that _idiot_ experiment on you? What are you thinking?!" 

"I can't keep waiting for things to come back!" Adora brushed away Catra's hand. 

"Why are you like this?!" 

"Why am I like this?! We're supposed to be a team! I've been on my own, surrounded by-by all these random people while you mope!" 

"What am I supposed to do? You've forgotten about me! You've forgotten that we-You aren't even you anymore!" 

Adora went cold. "Right. I forgot. Everybody loves She-Ra. Even you." 

"Adora-"

"I'm going for a walk." 


	16. Chapter 16

Catra joins Adora and Bow on the journey to Dryl. They travel on foot. The only sounds are their steps. Catra's eyes flick back and forth between Adora and the path ahead. 

Eventually, she can't take the silence anymore. "This is a stupid idea." 

"No one asked." Adora says. 

"I think Catra is just worried about you," Bow says, "but Catra, you know, this is really up to Adora." 

The quiet comes back. Adora looks over to Bow. "Huh? Did you say something?"

"That Catra is just worried about you and -"

"No. After that." 

"No. Nothing." Bow says. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" Catra puts a hand on Adora's shoulder. 

"I'll be fine." She doesn't sound angry anymore, at least. 

Catra is suddenly struck by the need to tell her everything. Who knows how this thing with Entrapta will go? She needs Adora to remember her now but...she looks at Adora, the way her shoulders are up around her neck, on the defense. 

Now isn't the time. 

She has to say something. She-

"I'm really sorry I tried to kill you all those times."

"What?!" 

Not that! She didn't mean to say _that!_

"Hey look!" Bow says, trying and failing to refocus the conversation. "We're almost there!" 


	17. Chapter 17

"You did what?!" Adora demanded. 

"I mean...it was war! Okay. No...no that's not an excuse."

Adora just stared at her. "I thought..."

"Hey. It's over. It's behind us. We-"

"You don't get to decide that!" 

"No! You do and you _did_!"

"That wasn't me! That was She-Ra!"

Catra opened her mouth and closed it. 

"You...are? She-ra?" Bow pointed out in.

"Shut up, Bow." Catra shoved him away. "Lets just find Entrapta and get this over with." 


	18. Chapter 18

"Hey Guys!" Entrapta swung open the castle door. "You're here! Great!"

...

"Why is everybody so quiet?!"

"It's fine." said Adora, which was not an answer. Entrapta frowned in confusion but followed along, jumping ahead of the group by her hair and leading them towards her lab. 

A door slid open revealing Hordak, hunched over a table. 

"They're here!" Entrapta squeeled at him. 

"What?" Catra's fur puffed up. "What is he doing here? No way are we going through with this!" 

Adora's jaw was tight. She didn't speak up. 

"Entrapta...we didn't agree to this." Bow said gently. 

"But..." Entrapta glanced back at Hordak "He's my lab partner." 

"He's a _bug_." Catra stepped forward, ready to claw at him. 

Adora gasped, still silent. 

"Adora?" Bow checked in with her. 

"We came here to get my memories back." Adora's voice shook. "So we'll get my memories back."

"Are you kidding?! No way am I letting Hordak into your brain!" 

"What other option do we have?" Adora argued, but she looked nervous.

"I can think of several." Catra said darkly, still eyeing Hordak. 

"I need my memories to be She-Ra." 

"You don't need to _be_ She-Ra." Catra argued. 

"I..." Adora's voice faltered. 

"It's been a long trip." Bow said, "Maybe we should all get some rest." 

"Oh! Yes! Good idea! Maybe if I monitor some of her brainwaves while-"

"No expirements." Bow said firmly. "Just rest." 

Hordak nodded. "Maybe that is for the best."

"No one asked _you_." said Catra. 

* * *

Adora, being an idiot, fell asleep quickly. That left Catra to stay awake at the bedside and keep watch. Bow would have to fend for himself. He was in a seperate room and Catra couldn't risk leaving Adora unguarded. 


	19. Chapter 19

By the time Adora woke up, Catra barely had time to grunt at her before falling asleep. Knowing Adora, she'd just use this opportunity to run into danger, so Catra pulled Adora down next to her and wrapped her in an inescapable cuddle. 

"You're still sleeping?" Adora punctuated the question with a snort. 

Catra just pulled Adora closer. 

* * *

Adora woke up, ready to get this over with. Hordak was going to give her the memories back. Hopefully. It wasn't a big deal, like Catra was making it, really. Catra had had her memories changed plenty of times by Shadow Weaver. Adora could handle trusting Hordak one more time. And then she could be She-Ra and even Catra would have to be happy about that. 

Catra grunted as Adora sat up. She pulled Adora back down, wrapping Adora in a tight hold. 

"You're still sleeping?" Adora snorted. 

Catra just pulled Adora closer.

"Catra, we can't avoid this forever." 

"Not forever." Catra didn't open her eyes "Just like, a few more minutes." 

"Ten minutes." Adora said. 

"Twenty."

"Fifteen." 

"Thirty." 

"Fine, twenty." Adora settled. 

Catra must really have been tired because she didn't even gloat, she just rubbed her face against Adora's neck. Adora's stomach flopped strangely. The way Adora's head was resting on the pillow, she could hear her own heart beating heavily, speeding into a thrumming rhythm. She wasn't afraid, though. She was comfortable. The light was soft, coming in through the square window. Catra was warm wrapped around her like a blanket. Her fur was so _soft_. Adora ran her hand up and down Catra's arm. Catra purred. 

The mechanical surroundings...the feel of Catra next to her...It almost felt like being back home again. 


	20. Chapter 20

"We have to get out of bed at some point, Catra." Adora tugged on her arm. 

"Do we?" Catra groaned. 

"You can't just change my mind by avoiding this! We need to talk to Entrapta." 

"Adora?..." Catra sat up on the edge of the bed. Adora stopped pulling on Catra's arm and sat down next to her. 

"What's up?"

"There's...something I should probably tell you." 

"Is everything okay?"

"No. You don't remember anything."

"Aside from that?" 

"Before you lost your memory...you and I..." Catra resisted the urge to give up and claw the pillow apart. "You and I...I told you I...We were...you know...together." 

"Oh?" Adora's tone was unreadable beyond some sort of surprise. 

"Yeah. So. Anyway. Whatever. Lets go argue with everyone." 

"Are you sure? This kind of seems like something we should talk about?"

"What is there to say?" Catra's voice isn't as even as she'd like it to be. 

"I...I was really a Princess, huh?"

"Yeah." 

"I guess, I'm still me..." Adora laughed tonelessly. "I'm still me." 

"I've been thinking of She-Ra as some separate person that everyone wanted back and-"

"I just want you, Adora...That's all I've ever wanted." Well, that was cheesy and embarrassing. 

"Should we... kiss?"

"Should we?" Catra echoed. 

"We should." Adora said with a nod and then she was leaning in and _finally_ , finally.


	21. Chapter 21

Adora found Entrapta before they could meet up with everyone else. There was no point dragging things out. 

"Entrapta...I...I don't think I'm ready to let anyone poke around in my brain. It just..."

"Awww! Okay! Let me know if you change your mind!" 

* * *

"So, what now?" Bow asked as they walked away. 

"I go back to working with Swift Wind. We do this the long, boring way." 

"That's it?" 

Adora opened her mouth but the words wouldn't come. Catra squeezed Adora's hand. 

"That's it." Adora said. "At least for now." 

"But what if it never works?" Bow asked.

"Then it never works!" Catra jumped in. "What, are you going to kick us out?"

"Of course not! I just...I miss being your friend."

"You are my friend, stupid!" Adora punched him in the arm. 

"Ow!" He said, rubbing his arm. "I think Catra's a bad influence." 

Catra threw back her head and cackled. 


End file.
